What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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