i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
