let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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