so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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