Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
how drunk are you?
Several
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
