so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
