he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
