i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
