Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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