I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize