I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
