I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
