Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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