You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
