oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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