Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
