She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
