Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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