How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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