I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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