So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
