theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
