you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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