wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize