Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
