If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
