Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
