I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
