you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize