Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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