Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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