idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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