I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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