i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
