she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
