Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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