How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
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