You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize