are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
