The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
