i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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