Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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