dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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