In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
