She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
