Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
