yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
