people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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