I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
