Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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