As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
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Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize