I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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