Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize