Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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