I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize