I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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