I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love having hate sex.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
