Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
