my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
