Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
