I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
