Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
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