We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
