jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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