you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
