to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize