Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
