I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
